If life was like movies.....

If life was like movies, my house would always be clean, unless it was attacked by wandering zombie hordes.

If life was like movies, airplanes would fly on schedule, even if they had to be repaired in the middle of a desert using nothing but nylons, unless they fly over invisible islands while carrying dead people.

If life was like movies, we would all have sound tracks that would let us know when something exciting is about to happen or when we really shouldn't open that door or go down the basement stairs.

If life was like movies, we would recognize the bad guys by their black hats.

If life was like movies, we could choose whether we wanted to experience a comedy, a drama or a cartoon.

If life was like movies, no problem would require more than two hours to resolve. And if it did, we'd still know when the things would be getting better by the sound track (see above).

If life was like movies, one good cop would be able to solve all the crimes.

If life was like movies, happy endings would be de rigeur.

If life was like movies, there would always be a parking space for us right in front of the store.

If life was like movies, the worst case would always happen, but resolve quickly (see above).

If life was like movies, mice would be welcomed chefs.

If life was like movies, musicals would be performed in barns and only cost $1 for a ticket.

If life was like movies, we could TiVo the bits we can't handle right now.

If life was like movies, my dog would be able to tell me why she suddenly doesn't like her dog food.

If life was like movies, everyone would find the "right" person and live happily ever after.

If life was like movies, we would be able to be who we wanted, when we wanted, and look good doing it.

Guess what....my life is a movie......now showing.