Dating in the digital age

My daughter has a beau. Well, at least that's what people would have been saying 100 years ago. When I was in college, that ancient time before personal computers but after the Apple was invented in a garage, if you started dating someone you had a boyfriend. And it took a while for everyone to find out.

Now you change your status online and everyone knows at once. I was lucky. My daughter called me with the news before I saw it on facebook. The parents of the young man in question weren't so lucky. They found out from one of their other sons, who saw it on facebook and then told them.

The father's question..."What does it mean, 'in a relationship?'" got me thinking. What are relationships like now?

Are things really all that different, or is it just that they are much more accessible and public now? The notes that we used to leave on each other's windshields are now posted on digital "walls." They are no longer personal communication, instead they are available for everyone to see and comment on.

Meeting the parents has new meaning as well....no phone call, or a conversation when picking my daughter up. My first communication with the object of my daughter's affection was a message and friend request on facebook. And as a parent, I didn't ask about his family or talk to friends, my first thought (and action) was to check out the public parts of his facebook profile. Thankfully, there were no worrying surprises. And there's a part of me that's glad I can keep an eye on things, even from four hours away.

However, I do find myself wondering, what if things don't work out? It's not just between two people who decide there's no happily ever after in their future. Everyone they know will see the crash and burn. Maybe that's the price we pay for the instaneous communication which our society has so willingly embraced.

The front porch and courting candle has given way to the instant message and emoticon. And a father peeking through the curtain and flashing the porch light is now going to be liking or disliking the latest post.

I'm not sure how to navigate this changed environment...do I allow them their privacy and not check their frequent comments or do I check everyday as I try to read the progress and evolution of their "relationship"?

Maybe I should post that questions it in my status and see whether the world gives me a thumb's up.